Athene Numphe (athene) wrote,
Athene Numphe

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Life Decisions

I feel like I have come to a major set of forks in my life and I'm not sure which paths I want to take. It gets worse when so many of the paths cross and fork within each other. So many possiblities, so much uncertanty. And there are not only my paths, hopes and dreams, but there are Aerith's too.

Broken down for sanity with some of the pros and cons (as I think of them), (the problem is that everything depends on everything else):
First issue: Landlady is selling the apartment. Wants us to move out by June 30th. We have a lease until Aug. 31st. Need to look up laws on this. But either way, Aerith and I will have to move. We are looking for a new place.
There are 2 choices of where: either apartment complex or part/all of a house.
Apartment complex -
Pros: some have pools, don't need to maintain yard, sometimes sense of comunity, parking lot, Aerith would prefer it.
Cons: Lots of people in close quarters, not as "homey" to me (i've almost always lived in a house), have to walk to front door.
Pros: Few in building neighbours, not going to feel "boxy", I like the idea of a house.
Cons: Yard work, shoveling in the snow, more limited parking.
And then there are the two choices of how: either rent or buy.
Rent -
Pros: Can move as soon as lease runs out, not stuck to the place, don't have to pay for maintance, don't have to deal with owners insurance, property taxes, etc.
Cons: Can be kicked out (see current situation), can't make modifications, pets have to be approved.
Buy -
Pros: Sense of perminance/can't be kicked out, can make any modifications, morgage rates are low (would probably be paying less for morgage than renting), would be a place to live if I go to grad school at UMass/in the area.
Cons: STUCK, owners insurance, property tax, will use up "first time buyers privilage".

Second issue: Dreams. I really want to go to graduate school starting a year from this fall. The problem is that I'm not sure for what or where. Part of me wants to do Dramaturgy. Part of me REALLY wants to do Classics/Classical Studies/Classical Archology. Some of me also thinks that museum or library studies/science sounds cool. The origional idea (when I thought I had a secure place to live for another year) was to apply to many different places and then decide based on where I get in. However, now there is more to worry about. Maybe I should just wait another year and become more finacially stable. But I feel like time is running out (espcially b/c I want to have a child before I'm 30 but after I graduate Grad School and get settled in the world, b/c I want to spend time not working and being with the child). There are also Aerith's dreams and aspirations. I know he wants to work in theatre. Maybe we should move/I should look at grad schools near theatre places (ie: NYC, Austin TX, Chicago, California). Whereever we go, I don't want it to be one person following the other. I want it to be a place we both decided on and want to go together. The thing is that if I end up getting into and wanting to go to a grad school not in this area, then if we bought, we'd have to rent or sell. But, if i went to grad school in the area, then we'd already have a place (and i'd just have to make sure my stipend covers it). The only thing is that I don't want to feel STUCK to the area. I don't want to have to settle for UMass b/c I own a place. For 2-4 years, then owning a house would be a really good idea. But for only 1, I'm not so sure.
Grad school in a year -
Pros: Back in school. Starting to work towards my dreams. Won't loose sight of goals.
Cons: May not be financially secure. I have a lot to do before end of Dec to apply.
Grad school in a few years -
Pros: Gain finanical security. Would be better if bought a place. More time to prepare (take GREs, brush up on languages, etc). May actually have a better idea of what I want to DO WITH MY LIFE.
Cons: Getting older. May loose sight of goals. Settling into safety. Working at job for longer.

Maybe Aerith and I should just find somewhere to rent for a year and put our stuff in storage and then decide. But we're just worried that if we end up staying and wanting to buy then morage rates will increase dramatically.

ugh! This is WAY too complicated!

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