What not to do at Return of the King
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait...
where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL
NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time
someone says: "The Ring."
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your
lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off
someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back
of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep"
Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and
shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm
Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame
of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander
around looking terribly confused.
22. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment
and shout, "I see dead people!"
24. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the
25. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of
26. When Sam holds Frodo's hand (or otherwise), start singing,
"The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"
27. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let
Not going to see RotK today. why? b/c when Aerith said there were tickets for sale, i didn't get any. and then when i realized they were onsale, the theatre was sold out. ok, but phoenix games had tickets...but the showing is too late for those of us who get up at 6am (and there would be drama or at least uncomfortable circumstances). so then today i found out that they added another theatre on monday. with a showing that maybe we could have made. but aerith just got home from work, so maybe not. anyway, this leaves me not seeing the movie till sunday when my dad and stepmom show up. but my sister isn't seeing it until sunday either. so i feel slightly better.