December 3rd, 2000

wear a mask, elhoffer

my house

my house is ok, but sometimes i feel that i have no real friends here. It seems like everyone is always hanging out with everyone else and i am just left out of the loop. i think that Liz is a friend and so is Lauren, but they are first-years and i feel like the senior (even though i'm a junior) who makes friends with the freshman because she doesn't have any friends her own age. i felt like that in highschool too. it really sucks. i keep thinking about moving houses, but i like my room and i like the fact that we have a elevator. and the people are nice, i just don't feel espically close to any of them.

When i get this way I just want to go over to jonathan's house. which i guess makes it worse. i'm never around so i get excluded so i leave more and i'm never around. it was a lot worse last year. then i felt really isolated. i really should spend more time on campus, but then the whole cycle starts over again and i run away. grrrr.

i really should get back to reading. If i get it over tonight i can start on work for Greek and Roman Drama. Just thirty more pages, probably an hour of time. I hope jonathan calls soon. i want to go sleep there, but i know that it's not a good idea.

back to work.