November 14th, 2008

blow to the heart

Bus fears

I have a fear of getting on the wrong bus and ending up somewhere I don't want to be. Almost every time I get on a bus, I triple check the number. However I'm often not 100% convinced that I'm on the right bus until it makes a specific turn or two that assures me that I'm going the right way. This is especially true when I'm at a bus stop that multiple buses stop at. It can be rather nerve racking at times.

I'm pretty sure this fear stems from my first day of 1st grade. I had gone to kindergarten in NYC, where my parents were able to walk me to school. For first grade we were back in Ithaca. I remember my parents bringing me to the near by school bus stop which was where my friend Ben also caught the bus. I remember them telling me that Ben would help me get home. I remember getting on a bus after school was over. I have no idea why I picked that bus. It was probably the first bus I saw. I'm not sure why Ben not being on it didn't clue me in that it was the wrong one, maybe I thought that he was going to get on after me. Of course it didn't stop in the "right" place. Luckily it ended up at a playground somewhat near my house that I recognized and I was able to call home (or someone called for me) and have my parents come and get me. After that my parents dropped me off and picked me up from school pretty much every day until high school, where I was successfully able to ride the bus to school.