Athene Numphe (athene) wrote,
Athene Numphe
athene

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errrg. boys!

Well, at least my falling in love with DV has let me realize just how deeply I love Aerith. He is so wonderful.

So, back to the DV issue. why? why oh why does it hurt so much? I haven't felt this way in so long! I e-mailed him yesterday explaining that i was in a poly relationship. He wrote back saying that he didn't want to break up my monogomus relationship. gggrrrrrrrrr. but he's christian and he doesn't understand. but he is so cute and he loves me too. and we'll catch each other's eye in class and just smile at each other. it hurts so much. i want to be with him so dearly. we stood for a little while today just holding each other. my head fits so nicely on his shoulder. i want to hold him, i want to hug him, i want to kiss him. more so than with anyone else, after Aerith (of course).

we will be having a long talk tommorow. i'm scared. we have a lot of stuff to tell each other. WHY CAN'T HE UNDERSTAND? I guess it has something to do with his looking too much to the future. I guess I'm not exactly the kind of girl he can bring home to his minister daddy. it's SO Rikk and Alisin (from FAANS!). *L*

my heart hurts. The only thing that lessens the hurt is remembering my love for Aerith. I love him so much. I don't know what i would do without him. He is so strong in so many ways. Knowing there is at least one person in this world who loves me and whom I love and that we can share this love and understand each other so well is what will bring me through this. I know it.
Tags: aerith, poly
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